4. Take on a new perspective. You can’t change the facts, but you can develop empowering ways of dealing with them.
If you have bought in to the premise that there is more than one objective reality, then taking on a new perspective is the next step. Begin in one area and then expand to other areas of your life. For instance, what are some other possible perspectives on the world that might be more empowering than the one you currently hold? If you see life in this world as a huge trial, where nothing ever really goes right for very long, you could flip that and instead decide to view the world as a giant educational opportunity, where each obstacle gives you the chance to learn and grow.
If you are used to feeling victimized by life, that may not be an easy switch, but when you remind yourself that your old perspective is keeping you from the life you want, you’ll have some incentive to figure out how to change that habit – and yes, I do believe that your current perspective on yourself and the world is nothing more than a habit. It may have served you once, but if it isn’t any longer, it’s time to replace it with a habit that works better for you. Replacing old habits with new ones and coming up with authentic alternate perspectives takes time and effort, but it’s well worth it.
This is where working with me (or another coach) as your facilitator can be extremely helpful. It’s very challenging to think in new ways all by yourself, which is why I too work with a coach. The coaching relationship is a truly powerful process for moving forward in your goals as well as in dealing with problems because it gives you the time, space and facilitation to think of things you’ve never thought of before or to remember all the smart things you already know but have forgotten along the way.